Saturday, December 15, 2012

Moving On

The picture you see used to be the bookshelf at the foot of my bed, in my room, in my house. Now it houses my mother's crockery.

My wardrobe, which used to be stuffed with my clothes now has other clothes that look strange and out of place. I look around me room these days and feel a sense of alienation. I can't complain. I now have a house that will be personalised and made my own. But that doesn't cover up the inevitable sadness of being separated from my childhood.

Consciously walking into a dream

I woke up feeling disoriented, again. It's still dark. Everything is very quiet. The bed feels strange. And yet I could hear the alarm ringing on my phone from some distant space. I spread my palms across the bed and started looking for it. The further my finger inched, deeper the disorientation.

And then I found it. The menacing, monotonous beepbeepbeep - beep beepbeep. And yet it was the relentless beeping that made me realise, I was to give a test to the grade 7 students today; carol singing practices were to be organized; I had to meet the Head Of School to discuss my leave in January.

My leave in January! Weren't the rings suppose to come today? What happened to the bag I had to buy for the trip? Have I called my college friends and confirmed if they have received my invitation?

More than the alarm these thoughts woke me up, nice and alert. I looked around. People were stirring around the house. I was walking to the bathroom door, when I happened to look at the time. 7AM! I'm supposed to be in school in half an hour! And so I scamper around, brushing teeth, picking out clothes, packing my lunch. All the while, mom would probably be rattling on about this and that that needs to be done. Half listening, and half praying that I reach on time, I step out of the house with half worn shoes. I usually finish wearing it in the lift.

Now here I am, sitting in the car with the slightly chilly morning air whistling through my ears and wondering if I'm going to wake up from this dream.