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Sunday, January 11, 2009

There was a slight chill in the air. A light breeze kept tugging at her dress. The concrete bench at the park felt colder and harder. It was a small park that not many knew of. There was an old couple sitting at another end of the park watching their three grandchildren play in the grass. A boy was walking his dog and a man who sold chana chor garam on the streets was sitting in a corner and counting his day’s earning. She sat at her bench looking at them, her mind somewhere else. Somewhere, in a restaurant, her mind saw him again. He was staring in to the eyes of someone else and he had the smile that used to be reserved for her. They were holding hands.

Her greatest fears had been realized: she felt nothing.

She walked away from the restaurant, feeling nothing. And now here she was, sitting in the park. Why did she feel nothing? The peaceful atmosphere teased her temples. They tortured her ears with happy sounds. She pinched herself, to make herself cry. But her eyes remained dry. She became angry with herself. The wind screamed in her ears. It felt stronger than a storm. She hated herself. She got up with a start and stomped her way towards the gates. She fixedly gazed in to the far distance and told herself that she was lying to herself and him. There was obviously no love between them. She marched along the road and suddenly stopped dead in her track.

“Where are you going? I was just coming to meet you at the park.”

She stuttered and walked a few steps back. She couldn’t think. The world had come to a full-stop. She looked at the woman with him; the same one from the restaurant. She did not know what to do.

“I came to the restaurant” was all she could manage to say.

“You did? What were you doing there?”

“Someone told me they saw you there and I thought I’d come there instead of waiting for you at the park”

“Yeah, we were at the restaurant. Didn’t you see us?”

She didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even seem to care that she had found them!

“Well, we were sitting in a corner. So it’s no wonder you didn’t. Anyway, this is my cousin, Shaila. Shaila, this is my girlfriend, Prachi”

Prachi could barely stretch her hands and shake Shaila’s. She wondered if Shaila noticed how sweaty her hands were or how her legs were shaking. She was sure she was blushing. She couldn’t stop herself from laughing.

“What happened? Why are you laughing?”

“Nothing…” She turned to Shaila and said, “It’s good to meet you.”

Shaila did not miss the embarrassment on her face. She tossed her head to one side and replied, “You’re not the jealous type, are you?”

Prachi blushed again and buried her face in her hands. It is only then that she felt the little drops of tears hanging from her eye lids.

3 comments:

Preeti said...

Although it has a seemingly positive ending i cannot help feeling sad for the girl.

Very well written. the frustrations, the griefs, the uncertainties, the shame...isnt it amazing how one small incident can give birth to so many conflicting emotions?

And yes, looks need not always be deceptive. Sometimes what we see IS what we see.

Paradox Philic said...

Ahhh... Preeti already said what i wanted to..

Oh...what the heck... i will take this risk of sounding repetitive and unoriginal... I think this was very well written, all emotions so beautifully expressed (i felt i was sitting on that bench with the girl watching her go through each one of these emotions)

Look forward to reading more of you :)

Menaka said...

@Preeti: yes the girl is in a slightly vulnerable position. Its a situation ive seen ppl going through recently i thought it would be interesting to try to relive their position. Thanks, im glad the point gets through...

@Paradox: I can assure you i take no offense for the repetitiveness. In fact, it only urges me to write more. For some reason, unless i get comments (good or bad) for a previous post i cannot write another. So thanks im now inspired to write another one :)